Our Second Life

Hi everybody!  Thanks for the good wishes from everyone who responded to Richard’s last post.  And thanks to poor Megan, who ended up minding the fort for us during our extended absence.  Since she was the last one to write a post, all of the questions about “where are you?’ ended up in her email inbox.

The past year was very challenging for me, and I don’t know how I would have survived it (truly) without Richard’s love and caretaking.  As he said though, it has slowed down our BDSM play because I was in so much pain that it didn’t seem like much fun to inflict even more.

But I don’t want to warble on about how boring our last year was.  It was bad enough to live through it; I don’t want to have to write about it too.  And I’m quite sure, trust me, that it would not be a great read.  Instead, I want to talk to you about what we have been exploring lately.

A few weeks ago, I went on Second Life (aka SL) for a work-related activity.  Both Richard and I had explored SL a small amount before.  Megan talked me into going on because she had met many friends and had a lot of fun there.  It hadn’t really clicked for us, though.

For the two people on the planet that don’t know about SL, here is a brief description.  It is probably the most popular Multi-User Virtual Environment (MUVE), which is exactly what it sounds like.  When you go to SL, you are given an avatar, a 3D computer “person”, that you can move through the virtual environment that is SL via your keyboard controls.  (I am sure there are much better descriptions of SL on Wikipedia or something.)

My first few hours on SL were probably similar to that of many people.  In fact I read that SL is working on its “first hour experience”.  Which is at present…weird.  My first hour I did a lot of embarrassing things.  I ran into a lot of walls and slammed up against a lot of ceilings, as I learned how to control my avatar (this wasn’t such a problem for Richard, who has played a lot of computer games).  I accidentally took off all my clothes in a PG kind of area.  I asked a large group of people if I could go to the bathroom, because I thought I was sending a private message to Richard (yes *sigh* I still have to get permission to use the bathroom).

I also thought my assigned avatar was really, really ugly.  So then I spent a lot of time shopping for a new “skin” and “shape” and clothing.  Which was boring.  I’m not a big shopper.  In fact Richard ended up doing a lot of that for my avatar.

Which brings me to why I am still on SL (as amy247 Waverider – come find me if you are on!).  Richard loves it, and that is making me start to love it.  Why hadn’t I realized the potential of SL before?  Let me count the ways.  First, we have been hungering for community (the focus of many discussions, and still no good answers).  SL is one way of developing a community of like people.

Second, Richard is so, so visual and in fact he has helped me realize that I am also a very visual person.  SL is in some ways like fetlife or (where we met), but with a visual element.   Everyone on SL is gorgeous.  Well, except for the people who don’t want to be gorgeous, like zombies.

Finally, SL is kink friendly.  SL is generally a more open and accepting place than our real life (RL, in SL-speak).  I told Richard that it reminds me of Burning Man.

Here are the cool things we have done over the last few weeks.  We went to a lot of clubs.  It was surprisingly romantic to slow dance together and surprisingly sexy to have sex on the floor while other people watched. But I ended up spending a lot of time dealing with IMs from newbies.  In spite of being WITH Richard, and my profile (you can click on a person’s avatar to get info about them) saying that I am owned by him.  I guess it’s a low cost strategy to IM whatever female avatars are in the room and say such gems as “Amy u mak me hornie.”

Then Richard discovered the camera function on SL. Hehe.  Guess what Richard did for the next few days?  He went to every BDSM club and rough sex club and strip club in SL, I think.  And he took (and continues to take) some terrific pictures.

So then he decided to open his own gallery.  It was very cool; he had a realtor take him around and he bought some land.  Then he learned to build and he built a gorgeous gallery from the ground up.  It’s called Predator (appropriate name, huh?).  Come visit.  It’s got RL pics of me (I think most were first posted on this blog), and some really amazing SL pics.

When Richard was doing a search on the word “predator”, he found a simulation that we have ended up spending a lot of time on.  It seems made to order for Richard, honestly.  It’s called Kingdom of Sand, and it is basically a bunch of predators (slavers, Bedouin, Magi) that chase around prey (slaves) and also fight with each other.

Richard loves it.  He became a slaver right away.  I thought it was telling that the outfit he had chosen for his avatar when we first got to SL was almost identical to what the other slavers wore (a kilt, no shirt and tattoos).  He says that chasing prey is exhilarating; fighting feels more like something you just have to do, and once he’s caught the prey it’s not as interesting.

I’m feeling a little intimidated by it, although I really enjoy the role-playing.  I’m kind of scared of all the predators.  And I’m struggling with jealousy when Richard catches another slave girl.  I feel like such a dork; it’s not real, I know he loves only me, he doesn’t get jealous when the slavers ogle me, blablabla.  But I had a dream two nights ago.  My wedding ring, which is antique platinum filigree with little diamonds, broke into tiny pieces and fell into the sand I was walking over.  I tried to pick up the pieces, but they kept sifting through my fingers and falling into crevices in the sand.

Richard hasn’t chased anyone since I told him about my insecurity.  He says that he is focused on making tattoos (and he just made some awesome nipple rings for my avatar!).  But I know it’s because he is worried about me.  I feel so ashamed of my response and part of me wishes I hadn’t told him (although I tell him everything, and Richard says I’m not allowed to keep things like that to myself).

I think SL could be a great place for us to explore things that are difficult to explore in RL – eg I already have a couple of tattoos and now piercings, and Richard could explore sharing me (a big part of his sexuality and a big scary for me in RL).  But if I can’t put on my big girl panties and be clear on the distinction between RL and SL, then none of that can happen. I would love to get some advice on this from those of you more experienced in SL.

OK, gotta go feed my family and get some work done.

Salaam and safe paths, : )